That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
Yeah, we spent most of the evening making fun of the drunk girl until we realized it was you.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Is it OK to disqualify a potential therapist if she lists 50 Shades of Gray as her favorite book? Or is that a good thing?
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
