we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
Mango Malibu should win a nobel peace prize
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
Randomize
