I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
who knew being a fake dominatrix could be so fun?
Randomize
