DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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