does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
Ok, so for future reference, in Rome, "piano bar" means "brothel".
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
i saved a drunk oompa loompa he was passed out on the lawn and i picked him up figured out where he lived and put him in his bed and wrote his roommate a note
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