what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
I'm thinking we should try to start remembering stuff we do. Althought I kinda like feeling like Nancy Drew the next morning.
More like the Hardy Boys cause its kinda like a team effort.
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
She's high and running across rooftops. Yes we're going to end up in A&E again.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
