somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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