Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
and she was petting her beer can
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
We just had to use a designated driver to get to night class.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Just got your voicemail. The 3am call wasn't a drunk dial, it was an I left my phone in my pocket then has wild animalistic sex dial...
I hate you.
You LOVE me.
We free pour in this house. Measuring alcohol is for the weak
Randomize
