I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
this guy at work is bossing me around at work. He is 24 and still has highlights and spikes his hair.
You're getting bossed around by a 1999 Highschool Yearbook picture?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I understand Curling. That high.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
"What's your dick like homie" is not really an acceptable thing to say out loud
I'm a peeled potato compared to her. I'm a peeled potato compared to anyone. I'm a peeled potato.
Are you high?
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