I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
I think you just described to us the most perfect drunken fairy tale that has somehow never been written
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
My hands smell like vagina and ham.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
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