Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
Operation Purity has been aborted
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Dear Penis Owner...our records show that you are overdue for servicing...please contact our friendly associates to schedule a thoroughly satisfying experience today...operators are standing by...
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
After my shift today I'm going on a bender. Not saying this so you'll stop me, just a heads up to invest in Tylenol, Gatorade, and Jack
you bleached my bangs. i have an interview later today and you assholes bleached my bangs.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
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