I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
the level of his annoyance + every insult he makes = the closer I am to telling him im fucking his ex
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
It was a mess. I sat on the kitchen floor with maple whiskey and cried into a bowl of poutine. I've never even been to canada
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
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