I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You said you were collecting Asians for your Kate Gosselin costume.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I'm sorry for coming into your work place and trying to smuggle you out in my purse.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize