dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In retrospect i can confidently say that the last two months of our relationship... i was only in it because i didnt wanna lose my list on his netflix account.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
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