I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
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