I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
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