my mom just informed me my dog smells like cum
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
I've slipped into the part of my life where I am not having sex to get Phils tickets from this chick. I need to seriously rethink my life decisions
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
Randomize
