maybe i would like her more if 99% of her sentences didn't start with "yesterday when i was reading twilight..."
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Randomize
