just wrote on a church. and then stalked a boy, by the way, i fucked him. him being your friend, also, love tacos.
i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
He offered to drive me out of state to meet up with my fuck buddy. Like best brother in law ever.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
