Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
i was holding a cup in her face for her to throw up in while screaming THIS IS THE DEFINITION OF FRIENDSHIP
He pulled out, and the resulting cumstain on my sheets is in the shape of a fetus. The irony of this is both awesome and terrifying.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Why on earth is he slamming his body into the wall again?
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
When a guy invites you to dinner and breakfast the next day it's implied that he's going to make some sweet loving in betwixt correct?
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
I wasnt 2 drunk i sobered up around the time we were shooting the fire extinguishers
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