Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
she has her graduation year in her skype name, it's like a constant reminder that she's jail bait.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
He was too drunk, and my mother and I ended up babysitting him. He told her I have amazing mouth skills, and that I love the "chorizo" he feeds me. All she said was "And on the list of 30 things you never want to hear about your daughter..." while gripping the steering wheel.Please just fucking kill me now.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
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