He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
Randomize
