he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
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k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
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id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
There's even glitter on my cock...
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