I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
one day john is going to snap and they are going to make a new show called "john and chainsaw minus 9"
i think he just uses that whole "grew up in a castle" thing to get pussy
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
everyday i become more and more impressed with my facebook stalking skills
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Doing 9 month old dishes in my bath tub. These dishes literally had enough time to gestate a human child
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
We should try to put a bagel on your penis
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
