I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
Randomize
