Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
My hair is short now so it will be easier to give you alot more blow jobs
I'm going to take this text and frame it on my mantle
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
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