Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
I'm amazed your boyfriend is still with you, how do you manage to pee on him while he is holding you in his lap?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
And then I told him since the day he walked away to get over what I went through he lost the boyfriend right to ask why my bed is broken.
I take full pride in being the one that broke ur bed. Want to go for the sofa?
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Is this like a preordered booty call?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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