woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
Wedding party came into the bar an hour ago. Mother of the bride is a stage five clinger. send help.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Randomize
