Is it normal to miss your booty call?
batman just walked across the sidewalk
lay off the drugs
no for real he was wearing a cape
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
The first clue should've been that he literally had shit in his hair. How does that even happen?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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