He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
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