Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Just pulled back my covers. Jizz. Jizz everywhere. Hipster jizz everywhere on my only set of sheets.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
