I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I just peeled a layer of cum off my eyelid. Don't even tell me that's not why you came over
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
His penis contains the glue that keeps this relationship together.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
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