So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
he drunk texted me to give me his number with the message "i gotchu pretty eyeso" i can't tell if he's complimenting me or himself.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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