dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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