I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I think the universe is against us being together. Or maybe it's just god's way of telling me there is a bigger dick out there for me.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
so, my congressman just called me to say he has office hours this week if i'm still interested in talking to him. i pray to god this is not related to Friday.
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Sorry about the weird guinea pigs text. I was drunk and they were freaking me out
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
