UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
When you put my balls in your mouth i just want to buy you expensive gifts...you know what i mean?
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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