My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
He like poked it twice with the tip of his tongue then left it alone. I'm sad.
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Dude, I just went to take a piss and looked at my ballsack... Underneath was labled "L" and "R"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
Within 24 hours, I went to a feminist documentary screening with two state reps and you hate fucked a rent-a-cop on the helipad of your hospital. Somewhere our lives went in different directions.
I still make more money.
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
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