Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
the other day i was so high i found pages and pages of pictures of HD hamburgers and patriotic music. bong rips for merica.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
He started making out with my boobs. I didn't know whether to be proud of my boobs or ashamed of my mouth.
Floor bacon is actually really good
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
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