We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
If I was gonna be at your campus for halloween weekend, I'd dress up as the masked horny fairy and give out condoms. I'm so thoughtful.
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
i'm not sure you can trust me in a car with 20 dozen donuts
Randomize
