You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'm pretty sure my intestines are bleeding but I'm still going to Orlando to catch that orgasm.
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Soon to be ex is nowhere to be found. Her attorney/new BF just showed up. 30 minutes late looking hungover. Pretty sure I'm getting the kids AND the house!
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