$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
do you wanna get some fucking pussy tonight.....THEN DRESS LIKE IT
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Randomize
