I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
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