So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
The fire alarm went off at 3 am in the freshmen dorm. So guess which junior everyone now knows is hooking up with a freshman? This girl...
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
i finally decided to cut him off after he he looked me dead in the eyes and said "how have i been inside you for the past twenty minutes when my pants are still on?"
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
yeah I woke up in jail with two different shoes on and neither of them were mine
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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