How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
If thou arrisest to consciousness before I, rise me to an office of alertness for occupations such as brunch. Warm Regards, your roommate.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Girls - I think I have a problem with stealing random shit when I'm drunk.
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
