I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
Dear Mark, please dispose of your crusty mcdonalds napkins used to jerk it at my desk
discrete masterbation is a lost art
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
i just read a article called "Booze, Drugs, and Bipolar Disorder"... i think someone is writing the memoirs of my life
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