I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
IM INA KID IN KING ATURHTS CUNT!
A Kid In King Arthur's Court? Like the movie?
CUNT. CUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUNT
i should start naming my morning wood
great idea but wrong number
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Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
Abby. I can text perfectly. I pledge allegiance to the flag of the united states of america. and to the republic, for which we stand, one nation under god indivisible and with liberty and justice for all god bless america
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
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I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
I mean I'm completely serious and also drunk.
What a great combination.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
Randomize