what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
my feelings for you are synonymous with those of a grizzly bear and salmon. i don't want to nom on you; but i need you to survive
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I have a cold now from having sex on the hood of my car in the rain. Worth it? Absolutely.
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Randomize