I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
He has great stamina, he knows how to use his tongue, and he's hung like a goddamn Pegasus. I can overlook the man bun.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
Randomize
