god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
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