It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
i had an epiphany while laying on the driveway for 5 hours yesterday.
i realized i waste a lot of time
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
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