ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Ok, honestly? Periods can't be THAT bad, have you ever tried to shave a ball sack?!
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
All I remember was you telling him there was something behind him so he would turn around and you could slide down his carpeted stairs on your belly without a shirt on. How's that carpet burn btw?
Randomize
