I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize
