You made me cry and you don't even care
youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
You told the waitress last night "What tip bracket do I have to be in to see your boobs"
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
Joe decreed the livingroom and the hallway up to the burn mark his kingdom. I think this is the point of 'stage an intervention'
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
I just destroyed that poor boy. Picked him up and put him wherever I wanted, it was like the Pride version of Elf on a Shelf.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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