So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Call it a failed empirical study as to whether drugs would make her more interesting. or at least better in bed.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
Stuck in the Dallas airport. At the bar. Everytime a flight to DC gets cancelled, I'm takin a shot. Fuck you snow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
please dont let the old guy in the wheelchair see you when you wake up
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
All I want is dick and wine.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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