i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Every time I burp I plan an escape route because I'm scared I'm gonna puke on grandma
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
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