I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I GPSed you we're an hour and 14min away from each other
and it's going to stay that way
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
It involves me, my best friend, and a stripper and her mother.
Randomize
