I'm going to jail i love you
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
hey can i ask you a kinda weird question?
i know what the question is. yes they are bigger, and no i did not get plastic surgery
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
Randomize
