its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
im sober playing flip cup. its like cheating.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
