So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I just peed on my pajamas. Its gonna be a long night. Don't forget the cookies.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
no dude free pina colada`s taste like what I would expect my penis to taste like except gay-er.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
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