I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
My mom woke me up in a bubble bath this morning.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
GOOD NIGHT DREAM OF ALCOHOL SNO CONES
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
Randomize
