I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
I can't wait to get home and drunk cuddle your dog
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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