When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
