I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Don't make fun of the drunk girl eating bread out of her pockets. I've been that girl.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
I am the prescription. I can be taken orally or vaginally and in any dosage. This is why I went to med school.
I ran into a hotel and told the doorman he was doing a great job. That was before you cried on my jacket.
why does CNN give a flying $@*# about the royal baby so, so much?
i hope they name him Joffrey
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
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