one two three fourrrrnication!
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Bible prof is the guy I made out with at the gay bar on the fourth. He doesn't remember.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
You need Xanax blowdarts
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Have you ever wondered if we are just made up characters in someone's head? You'll have to forgive me right now I think I have 7 thumbs
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Randomize
