u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
IT'S FRIDAY. So quit being a pussy, get out of bed, and come help me drink these 40s. That's not a request.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Come over, I want to eat cookie dough off your dick.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
