Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
Somehow my boobs came up in conversation AGAIN last night and I'm still not getting laid...
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