I found somebody to have a 3 sum with
shutup! Who?!?
Hahaha April fools!
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
It's 1:26 and I have already found 5 fruit flies between 3 separate glasses of wine. This is supposed to be a summer problem. Fucking global warming.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
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