8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
Randomize
