what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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