'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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