: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
Sorry I kept grabbing your vagina at the casino. I believed it was my lucky unicorn to win bonuses
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
So, the officer that worked my wreck, I'm rockin his world tonight. He saw me high on morphine in the ER. So he knows my level of crazy. Think he'll agree to wear his gun?
So many things can go wrong tonight.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
