i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
I may have broken a few toes and my face hurts. I do know that I pissed the bed so at least I've got some closure there
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I have walked into stripper central, but I'm on the street at 1:00 in the afternoon
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So the door man at the local dispensary started giving me motivational talks about my beard...
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
