Earlier, I saw a homeless man that looked like Abe Lincoln, and I just saw a guy walk past wearing crocs and socks. I'm beginning to like this city less and less
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Plus he probably didn't want to be at home, alone... Jacking off on the big screen without you there to lend a helping hand. I mean, let's be honest. It's not fun if it's not a little weird.
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