We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
He made me stop in the middle of giving him a blowjob so he could go get his glasses. because he "wanted to see". I need to stop dating nerds.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
One of my coworkers just invited me to a wet t-shirt contest this weekend in honor of her son's 21st Birthday.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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