Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Your normalization of crazy is frightening.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
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